Your piece captures the complexities of how social media manipulates our natural desire for connection, and I think a lot of people feel trapped in that cycle. The ‘checkmate’ metaphor is such a powerful way to frame it.
Personally, I don’t feel like I’m under that checkmate. I’ve intentionally distanced myself from a lot of social media platforms, and I rarely engage with things like algorithms or endless scrolling. That detachment has helped me avoid some of the pitfalls you describe, though I still see their effects on society around me.
It’s interesting to think about how not everyone’s relationship with social media is the same. Some people feel deeply entangled, while others manage to step back or avoid it altogether. What do you think it takes for someone to opt out? Is it more about personal choice, or does it require structural change to break free?
I appreciate how your piece invites reflection, even for those of us who aren’t deeply tied to social media. It makes me wonder: can those of us who’ve opted out in some ways still help shift the broader cultural narrative? Or are we just spectators in the game?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate you being part of this conversation. I'm quite glad to hear you've found ways to control your relationship to the platform realm, personally, I'm still in the process of working through this habit. I guess the piece is intended to help alleviate the "guilt and shame" many of us may feel concerning our obsessive rituals with this tech by reminding us of our evolutionary design and bias towards social connection. We are quite literally not made to be alone.
In terms of what it takes to opt-out, it remains shrouded in the same variety of reasons people may have to opt-in in the first place! From a younger age, my reasons stemmed from a surface-level need to fit in and be accepted by the community. All the cool kids had Facebook. Later in life, it became a need to share my work and fear that I wouldn't be seen for my talents. Today, I'm fighting to opt-out because I realized that if I don't, a solid 30+ years of my life will be spent staring at a small screen I keep in my pocket. Idleness is such a key to all our ailments, but it starts through crippling boredom and intentional removal of the constant stimuli.
Your whole analogy of being a spectator in the game is incredible, its a question I grapple with all the time. Heck, even to share this piece I still had to "play the game" and utilize a social medium. That says a lot doesn't it...
This is so well articulated, I read it twice! (The 2nd time out loud to my husband.) Do you think this deeply all the time? I love to think and feel deeply— the Lord put it on my heart to use my writing as a way to untangle and process past experiences and injuries (some caused by my choices, and others caused by others) and see His hand at work through it all.
Your ability to process and assess what is happening in the present is a real gift! I am in constant tension of both loathing my smartphone and appreciating its capabilities.
It’s the way I feel shackled to it that brings out the disgust (at it and myself!) I have often felt like a specimen swimming in someone’s petri dish. Thank you for this thought provoking piece!
Thank you so much Vanessa wow, this means a lot to me! I'm extremely happy to hear that this piece resonated with you and hopefully helped alleviate some of the tension in our quest to understand the technology around us. In terms of thinking, I'm working quite a lot to find peace in the mundane, which is actually what prompted this piece as I realized how difficult it was to not "fill" idle time. We seem frightened of silence, looking for anything to fill the space in a pick-your-poison world. I guess this piece was more about telling "myself" the things I need to hear, so it's so beautiful to know others may have felt understood too! It's my absolute pleasure, I hope you have a wonderful day.
Oh yes, absolutely Akif— the “noise” of the world is very distracting and I know many use it as a form of comforting escape. People always find it odd when they learn I don’t listen to music while driving or doing housework. I actually enjoy the silence😄 I don’t mind being alone in my thoughts- I do my best thinking and processing when I allow my brain some quiet. Good stuff! I look forward to reading more of your thoughtful reflections! 🙏🏼
I'm inviting you to join me in my social media detox! After 48 hours of having my Instagram deactivated, I can honestly say I’m not missing anything (yet). I plan to continue this detox until April, viewing it as my hibernation phase. I want to read more books, improve my essays for class and Substack, go to the cinema more often, and spend quality time with others in real life during this period.
You’re entirely right. It’s quite embarrassing to sometimes notice the chokehold this connectivity has even on me. I hope the essay doesn’t suggest in the slightest that I’m speaking of a topic I’ve mastered. Largely, the essay was more of a lecture to the man in the mirror. I’m going to do this, I owe it to myself.
Then, I put the phone down...then , I picked it up to write this comment. Whoa!
What an honour it is to hear this!
Your piece captures the complexities of how social media manipulates our natural desire for connection, and I think a lot of people feel trapped in that cycle. The ‘checkmate’ metaphor is such a powerful way to frame it.
Personally, I don’t feel like I’m under that checkmate. I’ve intentionally distanced myself from a lot of social media platforms, and I rarely engage with things like algorithms or endless scrolling. That detachment has helped me avoid some of the pitfalls you describe, though I still see their effects on society around me.
It’s interesting to think about how not everyone’s relationship with social media is the same. Some people feel deeply entangled, while others manage to step back or avoid it altogether. What do you think it takes for someone to opt out? Is it more about personal choice, or does it require structural change to break free?
I appreciate how your piece invites reflection, even for those of us who aren’t deeply tied to social media. It makes me wonder: can those of us who’ve opted out in some ways still help shift the broader cultural narrative? Or are we just spectators in the game?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate you being part of this conversation. I'm quite glad to hear you've found ways to control your relationship to the platform realm, personally, I'm still in the process of working through this habit. I guess the piece is intended to help alleviate the "guilt and shame" many of us may feel concerning our obsessive rituals with this tech by reminding us of our evolutionary design and bias towards social connection. We are quite literally not made to be alone.
In terms of what it takes to opt-out, it remains shrouded in the same variety of reasons people may have to opt-in in the first place! From a younger age, my reasons stemmed from a surface-level need to fit in and be accepted by the community. All the cool kids had Facebook. Later in life, it became a need to share my work and fear that I wouldn't be seen for my talents. Today, I'm fighting to opt-out because I realized that if I don't, a solid 30+ years of my life will be spent staring at a small screen I keep in my pocket. Idleness is such a key to all our ailments, but it starts through crippling boredom and intentional removal of the constant stimuli.
Your whole analogy of being a spectator in the game is incredible, its a question I grapple with all the time. Heck, even to share this piece I still had to "play the game" and utilize a social medium. That says a lot doesn't it...
intriguing phrase - "evolutionary checkmate". i just wrote about something v v similar, feel free to check it out~
&& thank you for your work! :)
Thank you for sparing some time to read this Angelica. :) I’d love to check out your work!
This is so well articulated, I read it twice! (The 2nd time out loud to my husband.) Do you think this deeply all the time? I love to think and feel deeply— the Lord put it on my heart to use my writing as a way to untangle and process past experiences and injuries (some caused by my choices, and others caused by others) and see His hand at work through it all.
Your ability to process and assess what is happening in the present is a real gift! I am in constant tension of both loathing my smartphone and appreciating its capabilities.
It’s the way I feel shackled to it that brings out the disgust (at it and myself!) I have often felt like a specimen swimming in someone’s petri dish. Thank you for this thought provoking piece!
Thank you so much Vanessa wow, this means a lot to me! I'm extremely happy to hear that this piece resonated with you and hopefully helped alleviate some of the tension in our quest to understand the technology around us. In terms of thinking, I'm working quite a lot to find peace in the mundane, which is actually what prompted this piece as I realized how difficult it was to not "fill" idle time. We seem frightened of silence, looking for anything to fill the space in a pick-your-poison world. I guess this piece was more about telling "myself" the things I need to hear, so it's so beautiful to know others may have felt understood too! It's my absolute pleasure, I hope you have a wonderful day.
Oh yes, absolutely Akif— the “noise” of the world is very distracting and I know many use it as a form of comforting escape. People always find it odd when they learn I don’t listen to music while driving or doing housework. I actually enjoy the silence😄 I don’t mind being alone in my thoughts- I do my best thinking and processing when I allow my brain some quiet. Good stuff! I look forward to reading more of your thoughtful reflections! 🙏🏼
I'm inviting you to join me in my social media detox! After 48 hours of having my Instagram deactivated, I can honestly say I’m not missing anything (yet). I plan to continue this detox until April, viewing it as my hibernation phase. I want to read more books, improve my essays for class and Substack, go to the cinema more often, and spend quality time with others in real life during this period.
You’re entirely right. It’s quite embarrassing to sometimes notice the chokehold this connectivity has even on me. I hope the essay doesn’t suggest in the slightest that I’m speaking of a topic I’ve mastered. Largely, the essay was more of a lecture to the man in the mirror. I’m going to do this, I owe it to myself.
Let’s gooooo!!!