This is the kind of writing that leaves a slow, smoldering burn that doesn’t quite go out. There’s a beautifully bitter irony in how the search for self, meaning, and freedom becomes just another system, another algorithm, another set of pre-packaged instructions. You spent a lifetime looking for something you already had, but the tragedy — and the brilliance — is that EVERYONE DOES. That’s the human condition: searching in the wrong places, mistaking noise for answers, and waking up one day to realise that the thing we were chasing was never lost — it was just buried under layers of distractions, expectations, and the industrial complex of identity.
Foucault was right about the docile body. So was Debord about the spectacle. So was Baudrillard about the simulacra. Everything is a ritual, and even rebellion gets absorbed into the machine, repackaged as a trend, sold back to us with same-day delivery. The irony of freedom is that most people don’t actually want it. They want choices that feel like freedom but come with a safety net — a curated identity, a five-star rating, a way to ensure their rebellion still fits the dress code.
But you cracked something open here: the illusion of agency, the weight of inherited systems, the deep and relentless hunger for SOMETHING REAL. And when all the pixels fade, all the branding peels away, all the dopamine loops break — you’re left with the thing that has no barcode, no market value, no corporate overlord.
The last line hit the hardest for me. Because in the end, that’s exactly it. Everything is built to kill God because it can’t be commodified. And that, perhaps, is the one real freedom left.
Pffff Tamara, this was thoroughly one of the most pleasant and engaging things I’ve ever read, and in a comment nonetheless! It is a different kind of gratitude to be so heard and understood, truly thank you. You’re entirely right, we ask for freedom day and night, but as you so aptly mention, we want things that “emulate” freedom without the very real consequences that freedom would bring. I could truly spend a day just replying to you, there is so much for us to talk about still!
Your comment just made my day! There’s something rare and exhilarating about encountering someone who not only listens but truly hears.
This paradox of freedom — how we crave its aesthetic, its scent, its shadow, but shrink from its full, unvarnished reality — is one of the most fascinating contradictions of human nature. I could speak about it for hours.
And now, you’ve left me wanting an entire afternoon of conversation — because if this is just the opening note, imagine the symphony we could compose.
I am profoundly moved by this narrative just as narrative. You write so well. And then you choose (yes, a great choice) to explore what so many leave unexplored. Thank you for crafting this potent more-than-an-article read for us to absorb. In this age of informed writing, you bring a singular and unique voice to glance at and ponder about the human agony of existence in its constant search for meaning.
I believe we are here to share our thoughts and ideas and I am grateful to the excellent writers whose work requires a reader to stretch in order to reach and connect. That is what feels real to me. And … in similar desperate searchings … I’ve discovered a pen. It’s my determination to combat my existentialist leanings with poetic meanings… even if no one cares to scan through my mental gleanings…. Trying too hard? Of course… I’m an old fashioned bard, but I won’t sell you my card. Just striving here hoping to keep the dogs from howling and congregating in my yard.
What an honour it is to write something that resonated with you, thank you so much for being here! I guess they don’t say “ignorance is bliss” for nothing. Surely we all have this insatiable need to root our existence in meaning. Maybe some of us are just further off the metaphoric deep end on this quest. As I was responding to someone else, it seems that when we ask for freedom, what we seem to want is a thing that “emulates” freedom without holding us accountable to the very real consequences that freedom would bring. In any case, don’t be a stranger! Seems like there’d be lots for us to talk about. :)
I have been wrestling with the freedom concept for a really long time. I’m at the point in my journey where I must confront, accept and embrace the fact that my soul’s need for freedom (my artistic side) is eclipsing my personal need to be free from the scrutiny that going public with thoughts, words and music inevitably brings. I am a person who seeks peace in their day-to-day, but I have a soul urge to communicate peace through artistic productions and wailing laments. I’m truly beyond the metaphoric deep end with my reinvention of self that is dedicated to my artistry by claiming the butterfly as my alter’s spiritual guide. Morpho is the alter that is forcing me to emerge from my underground journey with all that I’ve learned along the way. I’m a complex jumble of personalities, but I think I can emerge as an artistic exhibit that demonstrates… we ALL have important multiple versions of ourselves to cultivate and share.
A beautifully written description of being a human who knows themselves well and seems to be working to understand all of their own juxtapositions. Love it! Keep elevating that energy Morpho!
“I published it so that others could help me find the answer” power in simplicity with this sentence you’ve just described the raging online phenomena of sharing self and trying to find who we our through another’s gaze. becoming more like a photo that gained more likes or approval rather than looking inward to our natural born state, to Allah (swt).
I’m so glad you liked it! I fully resonate with what you’re saying. In part, it makes sense on an evolutionary level that we’d seek approval from what we deem our community, but on the other hand, we’ve never been so overly connected. We have too many opinions that frankly speaking should not be regarded. It’s a notion I am still working on internalizing. Can’t wait to red more from you!
Super interesting, do you mind elaborating? Do you mean in the sense that our capacity for connection being challenged is a necessary part of our future evolution? I want to make sure I fully understand you :)
Thorough I am still happy we can be city cockroaches together. Until we are happy and getting married. Thank you for your wisdom sir Akif Aliyev the genius of us all🧿
There is nothing I value MORE. Thank you for everything you are to me, I'm very grateful. Genius doesn't exist. Everyone can see the patterns, only few choose to do something about it. Like WAZA. <3
Not only do I deeply respect your piece and your voice but, the comment section just continued on with thoughtful curiousity and it made my heart feel a bit lighter today. Thank you Akif for the piece and thank you commenters for the thoughtful discourse.
I think that curiousity is an underappreciated and under utilized, human ability. I've found it to be incredibly helpful in adulthood, specifically when navigating challenging conversations. Engaging in active listening and shifting our assumptions of (one another's point-of-view, background or even intent behind their actions or words) into questions based in authentic curiousity, are two of the ways I think we might start attempting to reconnect so we may evolve together as human beings.
To me, 'freedom' means being able to walk confidently through the world in the meat suit in which I am currently housed. It also means, understanding that others have this same right. As long as no harm is done to our fellow humans, as we walk side-by-side through this very specific temporal and spatial dimension, we all have the space we need to continue along our evolutionary path(s) and hopefully, get closer to the untaxable 'God'. :o)
Thank you so much for this wonderful response Emily, I'm so grateful to read this. First off, I'm happy you pointed out the elephant in the room. I think the most incredible part of publishing on Substack so far for me has been the absolute treasure trove these comment sections shaped up to be. I sometimes feel like each of these streams of thought deserves its very own articles. It is a beautiful space and an absolute honour to play a part in it. Thank you for being here.
That being said, I really enjoy your take on freedom. I’m a bit biased to think that’s “all” that freedom can ever really mean. At a foundational level, feeling content. Full stop. The magic of your perspective is that it very much is attainable! It is not a zero-sum game that relies on hypermaterialism or external validation, but rather a mindset in which gratitude and abundance take center stage. I really see this as an act of political and spiritual warfare. To seek freedom “from”, not freedom “to”.
I must admit though, I do write from a privileged position. I must acknowledge the many parts of the world where fundamental freedoms are brutally stripped from people and held as bargaining chips over their lives, to which telling them to “manifest” happiness would be an absolute moral crime. I think this content is very much focused on the niche of our very worldly obsessions of “corporate freedom” markers that are designed to emulate agency without any of its consequences.
This is the kind of writing that leaves a slow, smoldering burn that doesn’t quite go out. There’s a beautifully bitter irony in how the search for self, meaning, and freedom becomes just another system, another algorithm, another set of pre-packaged instructions. You spent a lifetime looking for something you already had, but the tragedy — and the brilliance — is that EVERYONE DOES. That’s the human condition: searching in the wrong places, mistaking noise for answers, and waking up one day to realise that the thing we were chasing was never lost — it was just buried under layers of distractions, expectations, and the industrial complex of identity.
Foucault was right about the docile body. So was Debord about the spectacle. So was Baudrillard about the simulacra. Everything is a ritual, and even rebellion gets absorbed into the machine, repackaged as a trend, sold back to us with same-day delivery. The irony of freedom is that most people don’t actually want it. They want choices that feel like freedom but come with a safety net — a curated identity, a five-star rating, a way to ensure their rebellion still fits the dress code.
But you cracked something open here: the illusion of agency, the weight of inherited systems, the deep and relentless hunger for SOMETHING REAL. And when all the pixels fade, all the branding peels away, all the dopamine loops break — you’re left with the thing that has no barcode, no market value, no corporate overlord.
The last line hit the hardest for me. Because in the end, that’s exactly it. Everything is built to kill God because it can’t be commodified. And that, perhaps, is the one real freedom left.
Pffff Tamara, this was thoroughly one of the most pleasant and engaging things I’ve ever read, and in a comment nonetheless! It is a different kind of gratitude to be so heard and understood, truly thank you. You’re entirely right, we ask for freedom day and night, but as you so aptly mention, we want things that “emulate” freedom without the very real consequences that freedom would bring. I could truly spend a day just replying to you, there is so much for us to talk about still!
Your comment just made my day! There’s something rare and exhilarating about encountering someone who not only listens but truly hears.
This paradox of freedom — how we crave its aesthetic, its scent, its shadow, but shrink from its full, unvarnished reality — is one of the most fascinating contradictions of human nature. I could speak about it for hours.
And now, you’ve left me wanting an entire afternoon of conversation — because if this is just the opening note, imagine the symphony we could compose.
I am profoundly moved by this narrative just as narrative. You write so well. And then you choose (yes, a great choice) to explore what so many leave unexplored. Thank you for crafting this potent more-than-an-article read for us to absorb. In this age of informed writing, you bring a singular and unique voice to glance at and ponder about the human agony of existence in its constant search for meaning.
I believe we are here to share our thoughts and ideas and I am grateful to the excellent writers whose work requires a reader to stretch in order to reach and connect. That is what feels real to me. And … in similar desperate searchings … I’ve discovered a pen. It’s my determination to combat my existentialist leanings with poetic meanings… even if no one cares to scan through my mental gleanings…. Trying too hard? Of course… I’m an old fashioned bard, but I won’t sell you my card. Just striving here hoping to keep the dogs from howling and congregating in my yard.
What an honour it is to write something that resonated with you, thank you so much for being here! I guess they don’t say “ignorance is bliss” for nothing. Surely we all have this insatiable need to root our existence in meaning. Maybe some of us are just further off the metaphoric deep end on this quest. As I was responding to someone else, it seems that when we ask for freedom, what we seem to want is a thing that “emulates” freedom without holding us accountable to the very real consequences that freedom would bring. In any case, don’t be a stranger! Seems like there’d be lots for us to talk about. :)
I have been wrestling with the freedom concept for a really long time. I’m at the point in my journey where I must confront, accept and embrace the fact that my soul’s need for freedom (my artistic side) is eclipsing my personal need to be free from the scrutiny that going public with thoughts, words and music inevitably brings. I am a person who seeks peace in their day-to-day, but I have a soul urge to communicate peace through artistic productions and wailing laments. I’m truly beyond the metaphoric deep end with my reinvention of self that is dedicated to my artistry by claiming the butterfly as my alter’s spiritual guide. Morpho is the alter that is forcing me to emerge from my underground journey with all that I’ve learned along the way. I’m a complex jumble of personalities, but I think I can emerge as an artistic exhibit that demonstrates… we ALL have important multiple versions of ourselves to cultivate and share.
A beautifully written description of being a human who knows themselves well and seems to be working to understand all of their own juxtapositions. Love it! Keep elevating that energy Morpho!
“I published it so that others could help me find the answer” power in simplicity with this sentence you’ve just described the raging online phenomena of sharing self and trying to find who we our through another’s gaze. becoming more like a photo that gained more likes or approval rather than looking inward to our natural born state, to Allah (swt).
Loved this read Akif!!! ✨
I’m so glad you liked it! I fully resonate with what you’re saying. In part, it makes sense on an evolutionary level that we’d seek approval from what we deem our community, but on the other hand, we’ve never been so overly connected. We have too many opinions that frankly speaking should not be regarded. It’s a notion I am still working on internalizing. Can’t wait to red more from you!
What if the over connection is part of our evolution?
Super interesting, do you mind elaborating? Do you mean in the sense that our capacity for connection being challenged is a necessary part of our future evolution? I want to make sure I fully understand you :)
Thorough I am still happy we can be city cockroaches together. Until we are happy and getting married. Thank you for your wisdom sir Akif Aliyev the genius of us all🧿
There is nothing I value MORE. Thank you for everything you are to me, I'm very grateful. Genius doesn't exist. Everyone can see the patterns, only few choose to do something about it. Like WAZA. <3
Not only do I deeply respect your piece and your voice but, the comment section just continued on with thoughtful curiousity and it made my heart feel a bit lighter today. Thank you Akif for the piece and thank you commenters for the thoughtful discourse.
I think that curiousity is an underappreciated and under utilized, human ability. I've found it to be incredibly helpful in adulthood, specifically when navigating challenging conversations. Engaging in active listening and shifting our assumptions of (one another's point-of-view, background or even intent behind their actions or words) into questions based in authentic curiousity, are two of the ways I think we might start attempting to reconnect so we may evolve together as human beings.
To me, 'freedom' means being able to walk confidently through the world in the meat suit in which I am currently housed. It also means, understanding that others have this same right. As long as no harm is done to our fellow humans, as we walk side-by-side through this very specific temporal and spatial dimension, we all have the space we need to continue along our evolutionary path(s) and hopefully, get closer to the untaxable 'God'. :o)
Thank you so much for this wonderful response Emily, I'm so grateful to read this. First off, I'm happy you pointed out the elephant in the room. I think the most incredible part of publishing on Substack so far for me has been the absolute treasure trove these comment sections shaped up to be. I sometimes feel like each of these streams of thought deserves its very own articles. It is a beautiful space and an absolute honour to play a part in it. Thank you for being here.
That being said, I really enjoy your take on freedom. I’m a bit biased to think that’s “all” that freedom can ever really mean. At a foundational level, feeling content. Full stop. The magic of your perspective is that it very much is attainable! It is not a zero-sum game that relies on hypermaterialism or external validation, but rather a mindset in which gratitude and abundance take center stage. I really see this as an act of political and spiritual warfare. To seek freedom “from”, not freedom “to”.
I must admit though, I do write from a privileged position. I must acknowledge the many parts of the world where fundamental freedoms are brutally stripped from people and held as bargaining chips over their lives, to which telling them to “manifest” happiness would be an absolute moral crime. I think this content is very much focused on the niche of our very worldly obsessions of “corporate freedom” markers that are designed to emulate agency without any of its consequences.
Would love to talk more on this sometime!
Love it
+love you
“Everything is built to kill God because it’s untaxable” INSANE WAY TO END AN ESSAY LIKE THIS